The Hardest Parts About Living Abroad

Buckle up. This one isn't a typical everything-is-wonderful article I usually write. Moving abroad has been the most challenging thing I have ever done. The drastic change in culture, lifestyle, and scenery required me to adapt continually to new situations, and some of those changes are painful. The thrill of moving abroad is countered by the feeling of being homesick. I missed things that I took for granted at home. These points cover what most people don't like to talk about when it comes to living abroad, because no one wants to dissuade anyone from embarking on that epic, life-changing challenge. Living abroad has also been the most rewarding thing I have done, but no one should go into it without having realistic expectations of what it will be like. This is an honest account of the struggles of living abroad; normal feelings that happen when you move far, far away from home.

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Desperately missing your friends & family Easily the hardest part about living abroad is having your social-circle suddenly vanish. You lose your supportive family, hiking friends, workout buddies, happy-hour hounds, and your ride-or-die besties all in one fell swoop. Your connection with them is reduced to occasional face chats and texts.

Going home is expensive and inconvenient Planning a trip to go home now involves sacrifices: a good chunk of money and using your coveted vacation days. It pushes you to make difficult decisions like, “Can I afford to be with my family for Christmas this year?”, "Which friend's wedding will I fly back for?", "Do I have enough vacation days to visit my sick grandma?". Purely emotional decisions now have a monetary factor to consider.

Feeling Isolated It will feel really lonely at times. New friends don't appear out of thin air. It takes a while to find someone you like and then longer to establish a strong connection. When you want to reach out to your usual support system back at home, you will have to consider their schedule and time zone. They won't always be available when you need them. Another factor that isolates a newcomer is the language barrier. If you don’t speak the local language, you will be left out of most conversations. Sometimes, someone may translate to include you, but often the conversation will go so fast that you will be left behind. You are surrounded by people, but you might as well be mute and deaf.

Getting over that frustrating language barrier Learning a new language is extremely hard and draining. Mentally translating all input and output feels like a physical workout. In groups of people more than four, you won’t have the opportunity to make them pause for every part/word you don’t understand. The conversation quickly carries on without you despite your efforts to participate. It takes a lot of work before your level will pass basic conversation, but don't let it deter you. It will be well worth it.

Feeling misunderstood Language and cultural differences will put a wedge between you and your ability to adequately communicate. Especially in complicated or sensitive situations, this will be frustrating. How do I explain to my doctor what my problem is? How do I explain to my hairdresser what I want? How do I explain to the grocer what I'm looking for? How do I tell the vet about what my dog needs? How do I explain myself if I unintentionally hurt someone's feelings?

Feeling helpless to be there for your loved-ones Say your friend loses their job, your cousin is in the hospital, or your sister's cat died. The best you can do is give them a phone call and send a card. If a loved one passes away, you will desperately wish you could be there for comfort, but you will have to wait until you can take a plane (if you can even afford to go at all). Also, consider that if anything tragic ever happens to you, your family and friends will feel just as helpless to be there for you.

Feeling left out of celebrations When your friend gets engaged, your cousin announces they are pregnant, or your little sibling graduates from college you will miss out on sharing in the celebration. You will wish you could take them out for drinks or attend their party, but again, the best you'll be able to do is a phone call. And when you have something you want to celebrate, the ones you want there the most are on the other side of the world.

Your diet changes Wait until you need to go grocery shopping in a new country. Just try to find all the items that were on your typical list at home. Your favorite things and staple items will often be double the price or not available at all. It's to be expected. Different cultures and countries have different ways of cooking and a different set of accessible agriculture. It's just different (have I used that word enough?), and it takes some adjusting. You will miss the dishes you were able to prepare all the time at home.

Missing your favorite things This may sound superficial compared to the other points, but you really miss the small things like; your favorite market with the best produce, the specific face cream that keeps your skin balanced, your favorite brand of peanut butter, and the coffee shop where the baristas know your name. These little things offer a comfort that is dearly missed once gone.

Not being able to share what you love about your new life You will wish for teleportation more than ever before. Being unable to share the best parts about your new life abroad with those who are special to you is saddening. You will think of them as you see and experience beautiful new things and wish desperately they could be by your side. You will take a picture or send a video, but it just won't cut it.

Your hobbies change Depending on what you like to do, your go-to hobbies may not be available where you are moving. I went from a suburb surrounded by forests and waterfalls to a bustling urban city. I used to hike and camp on the weekends, but now it is museums and cafes. These comforting activities that make us happy are hard to let go. But, by letting go, it opens your time to try something new.

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Phew! You made it to the end. Feeling ok? I hope that this article can shed light on the less-talked-about sides of living abroad. It is not all fun and wonderful. It's hard. Though this may seem very gloomy; please, take a look at my 10 Reasons to Live Abroad in Europe to see the priceless, positive sides of moving abroad. I promise, its worth it. Through all of these struggles, I have grown and learned so much about what life has to offer and what really matters most at the end of the day. Overcoming these hardest parts about living abroad has enriched my life and opened my mind in ways I could have only gotten from this journey I am on. All of it has been well worth the considerable effort it took to move internationally.